Change of Perspective...

Kyle: Hannah, Life does NOT suck.
Hannah: Maybe not for you, Mr. I Have A New Girlfriend, but for the rest of us? Life sucks.

potty talk

Jake comes into girl's room. after holding a conversation for a while...

Jake: [still looking straight ahead and refusing to look at the bathroom door]
umm is Emily on the toilet? I'm just gonna step outside...

inuendos abounding.

Jo: I just need to hug something long and hard. (as she hugs Teresa in kitchen)
awkward silence.
Jo: [to Teresa]...not that you are long and hard...

Jake: I as just gonna ask...

Getting down to Business

Music - "Cuz we're getting down to business"
Hannah and Jordan dancing in checkout lane 2 at Acme.
Ancient man stops cart behind them: "I didn't know we got a side show when we went grocery shopping these days..."

Jo at the Kramers

"I never knew the definition of "snarky" until I lived with Hannah..."

-Jordan

God Loves Preservatives

Hannah (in response to sweltering temperatures in the library): I'm not trying to sweat out my toxins during the guest speaker...
Jordan Hylden(the guest speaker): I don't think toxins are real. They're not in the Bible.
Hannah: Umm...Easy Cheese isn't in the Bible and that's real...

Vomit

"I see the beautiful colors in your vomit."

-Emily, after Jo's blog

There's a coup brewing...

While reading Proverbs 31:3 "Do not give your strength to women,
your ways to those who destroy kings"

Hannah: I do not destroy kings! I have never brought a king down.
Jon: Only a matter of time...

"Be Conformed to His Likeness" aka "Sacrilegious"

Hannah: I'm not going to Young Life. I hate high schoolers.

Jake: Jesus hated dying on the cross...good thing he still did it.

Hannah: I've come to terms with not being Jesus.

Clear for Landing

(Riding in the car to NYC with stowaway flies...)

Kyle: Stupid flies! My bald spot is not a helipad!!

Charlie Sheen as the love interest...

Drew: What are you guys watching?
Jordan: Courage Mountain...ie: Heidi 2
Drew: What is the plot of Heidi? In my mind Heidi is a sick combination of Miracle on 34th St., and Annie, in the mountains.
Hannah: Yeah, that's pretty accurate.

Oh YEESSSS!

Said with ecstasy and a strong southern accent by Emily as she ended the life of an innocent creature. (A fly buzzing around the kitchen.)

Acronymns R Us

Hannah: We were just having gay biffel time...so...giffel time.
Emily: Wow.

Shot Caller

While Watching Jenn ball a melon:
Dawn: It's good to be a baller.
Brittney: OMG what?!
Dawn: It's also good to be a pepper.

Hannah: I don't even know what that means.

Gender gap

Jordan: What do you think of this picture?
Jake: I mean, it's kinda scary looking.
Jordan: What really?
Hannah: No! It's cute!
Jake: No, it's not scary in a bad way, in a good way...
Jordan: But boys will think I'm scary?

Jake: Oh man, why do I talk?

Hooked on Phonics Worked for Me!

While playing Scattergories:
Hannah: What does everyone have for "Things found in the Desert"?
Teresa: Irrigation
Jenn: Iguana

Jordan and Kyle (simultaneously): Icing!

Drew: Seriously?

The REAL Easton

Jordan: SHUT UP! Taco Bell?
Hannah: OMG my world just changed.

Cleaneth this table, oh Lord, as thou cleanest my soul.
- Kyley Cayote

Our Fearless Leader

While reading Adam's blog post:
David: I still don't get why it's solar...
Class: Wait, really?

David: Ohh! Soular!

I was just trying to one-up Emily...it's all a competition really.

Girl Time

Emily: I'm not coming, I don't feel well.
Jake: Oh? Do you have a headache or a stomach ache or something?
Emily: Uh...yeah.

Jake: Ohh.

Hose Action

Kyle (while hosing off his feet): Hey Jon, you ready for some of this action?
Jon: I'm always ready for some action.

Armed and Ready

Hannah: Kyle, what are some of the things you like in a girl?
Kyle: I'd have to say one of them is arms.
Jordan: Buff arms?
Kyle: No.
Hannah: Toned arms?
Kyle: No.

Jake: Like, she has to have them?

On Love and Women

Jordan: Hey Kyle, have you ever been in love?
Kyle: No. Wait, you mean like with a woman?

Genetics

Emily: I hate making the bed...I sweat when I make the bed. "Sigh" My grandmother did too...and I have red hair just like her!

Baby Food

Jordan: I have a feeling this lettuce soup doesn't trash well...

Emily's Gullible.

Emily's Dad: It's a fast train baby, better hop on quick.

Bottom Bunk

Jake (while sleeping): I just want to say, it's been a pleasure getting to know you all...

Wine and Cheese

Jordan: I want to be a cheese snob.
Jon: No...you don't.

Delish.

Jordan: Ooh i like your color combo.
Kyle: You look like a watermelon.
Hannah: Um...I'm edible.

Biffels

Jordan: Jake, do you have many close friends?
Jake: Yeah I have a few.
Jordan: Hannah, what about you?
Hannah: I mean...I have BFFLs.